The Most Underappreciated Weapon

Pretty much, That Guy forced me to write this entry. And since I haven’t listened to a single one of his critiques on here (which, by the way, have slowed to a stop), I figured I’d give him this one.

It came about on our “Epic May Long” trip. (Which if you haven’t seen the Facebook pictures, you should do so after you finish reading.) We were walking to the end of the peninsula, and a spontaneous stick fight broke out between the 5 of us. Wielding the “Wrath of Ra” (which was That Guy’s name for my stick of choice), I fought off every enemy stick. I was unstoppable. Then the other Matt found a rather large, blunt stick and started swinging it. I knew this would be the end of the Wrath, so I bowed out.

It was here that Scales had one of his many revelations. He realized that the Caveman Club is probably, as the entry title suggests, the most underappreciated weapon there is; certainly when it comes to melee combat. I guess it’s not much good against a gun or missile or grenade, but in a one on one duel, it can be quite formidable. Even the quickest opponent must be wary of the blunt force trauma such a weapon can dish out.

It certainly was more than a match for the Wrath of Ra. And in the end, I think it was fashioned into a giant spoon, before being inadvertently destroyed and eventually burned as firewood. But in the mean time, no one was going to question the one who held the Caveman Club. As the Geico commercials suggest, Cavemen were probably smarter than we give them credit for. They knew how to fight.

-Bernier